Jack Bryan Pendleton

It has already been TWO full days with our new son. Whoever told me that Avery will look 3x bigger when she walks into the doorway to meet her new little brother was completely right. She has already given the ok that we can keep him and bring him home. Being away from her for the past two days has been hard... Oh how I miss her sweet little voice saying "luv yu mom". It will be a VERY long week when she leaves to go spend time in Utah county with family and loved ones.

Jack with is right club foot sticking out

And back to the topic. Our son. Man, it has been hard. I mean I knew it would be going into this thing but my emotions are all over the place. Is that a surprise, not really? James is a rock. It is such blessing to have him as my companion. I forgot how terrifying it is to have a little baby depend on you for so much. Well as I sit here in my hospital bed next to our little guy glowing blue from the light bed, I will share with you his birth story.

***

Some time has elapsed. It is the following day(actually night) since I began this post. I started writing when I was still fatigued.  If you could have seen me while typing, I was a mess-- add lots of hormone fluctuations, new baby, lack of sleep, and pain-- you get my condition. Anyways I began typing again with a tad bit of a clearer mind.

Since we were planning on a scheduled c-section, we were told to arrive at the hospital at 5 am. Pretty early for a non-early bird, but to no surprise I wasn't really able to sleep anyhow. Well all night, on and off, Avery woke up from the nursery floor asking for her dad. She knew something big was about to happen, smart little girl. So between taking turns laying down next to her and getting prepped by showering, brushing teeth, etc we got to the hospital pretty much on time. The morning air was pretty cool and the parking lot was very quite.

As we walked through the vacant hospital, we were met by the attending nurse. Everything seemed routine, and James was calmly sitting on the couch while they began to prep me for the delivery. The IV killed, and after about 15 mins James went to go get a nurse to see if it could be changed. They decided it would push back the operation too much so I just had to suck it up. I officially hate IV's now. James has never experienced being admitted to the hospital, lucky him-- so he doesn't understand. I am sure their are others out there who completely agree with me.

Then comes the rolling me away from my comfort-- the husband and familiar surroundings-- to the cold operating room. I always shiver between the meds. and temperature of a hospital, that day was no different. I was paralyzed from the epidural and was there on the table with my mind wondering. Everyone buzzed around me getting things ready while I just laid there thinking of how different my life would be in such a short amount of time. I was excited, but so very scared to meet our son. I didn't want to face the challenges that might be placed in front of us once our little man was born. I just kept praying that we would get through this... I still keep that prayer in my heart.

That's when Mr. P walked in and grabbed my hand. Ready or not, our journey was about to begin. A journey that though had some familiar underlining similarities-- new baby and all-- seemed to carry a completely unique feeling. After the initial cutting and lots of pressure... our little man was born screaming with arms and legs swinging. He was here. And in that moment our journey began... both feet clubbed with some added twists-- a dislocated left knee, hyperextended legs, and bent wrists. They whisked him away, and James soon followed after giving me a kiss on the forehead.

I then turned upward again. Without moving a muscle and while the room swirled around me, I thought about our son and began praying again. There are still so many uncertainties with his medical conditions, which is terrifying to me. I am sure it won't get any easier even if we can get some answers about his future. Such as-- what caused him to be born with club feet? will he be able to walk? How are his hips? does he have a syndrome causing all this? will any of our other future children be affected as well? Are we doing all we can to get him the help he needs? what are we suppose to be learning from this? why Jack?

Jack's left leg-- knee dislocated with club foot

But one thing I know for certain, he came to our family for a reason, and I am so very grateful for him. Within only a few days of life, he has taught me a few lessons I will keep private for now. All I can say is that I love him so very much and will do everything in my power to be the mother he needs. Welcome home, Jack Bryan Pendleton.

October 13th, 2011 @7:06 am

6lbs 10oz

19 inches

We love you, our sweet little boy.

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