{First} Castings

It's been a full day since Lil Jack received his first of many serial castings-- a form of treatment for club feet. We went to Shriners' Hospital of Salt Lake. We are told they are the best, so naturally we decided the eight hour round trip car rides once a week for two months are worth the quality of care.

Today it hit me. He was born almost two weeks ago, but today it feels like reality is setting in. Like I have stated before, it takes a while for things to sink in for me... and it's beginning to sink in. I started to cry during lunch after Mr. P left for work, and my sweet two year old handed me a tissue. It is so hard not to know what the future holds for our son. As a mother, you plan taking them to soccer practice, teaching them how to ride a bike, giving them tips on dating... and when that idea is masked by uncertainty about your child's abilities or lack there of, well it's painful. I was ok with treating clubfeet... a few uncomfortable months of sleepless nights I can deal with. The idea of my son having a genetic disorder which caused the symptom of clubfeet... it's a lot harder for me to wrap my mind around. So I cry and hold him a little tighter. 

 

       {Avery and her beloved Nana}                          {Grandpa and the "boys" minus Taylor}

The night before we enjoyed a Pendleton family dinner, like the good ol' days before we moved three plus hours away. It was nice to be surrounded by family, and for a moment our thoughts were turned to lighthearted laughter and silliness, with the occasional Nana and Avery confrontation. 

Avery was such a trooper at the hospital. She enjoyed watching the fish-- finding "Nemo"-- and picking out the pumpkins she wanted to take home for Halloween.

We had already decided before hand that Mr. P would have to take the reins on being the strong one during the multiple medical procedures that were ahead. Little did I realize that my motherly instinct to soothe and calm would kick in, and I couldn't bare to leave lil man's side. I didn't cry, which surprised even myself. It went too quickly to really analyze anything, so I just allowed my hands to hold him and my eyes stayed fixed on his sweet blue face. He can definitely scream but when your legs are being twisted and turned, it's understandable.

I know that all of this "stuff" will help him greatly in his future, but it still doesn't take the sting away. My greatest comfort comes from a loving Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost. When I find myself thinking of all the trails ahead, it overwhelms me... I think it would probably overwhelm most people. Then little by little a calmness comes over my soul and whispers-- 

"Faith and endurance, my daughter 

Remember I am here".

I know now that this trial is real.

No more praying and wishes for it not to arrive.

Now my purpose as a wife, mother, daughter, and any other title I may be called to become,

 is to find the meaning behind the trail and grow stronger from it.

I know I will struggle and fail, which is a human attribute.

 But hopefully in the end, stand a little taller and wiser.

And most importantly lean on the truths I already know and the people I love the most.

Our family-- minus Jack who was being cuddle by Grandpa P-- relaxing together.

 Jack 2 week stats: 

7lbs 7oz 

19.5 inches 

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