Picking a {birthdate} for Jack

So it is the morning of Jack's birth... The EARLY morning (2:15).
Main reason I am up already is the fact that I forgot to ask if Tums are on the no-no list before surgery.
Note: they don't even want you to drink water after midnight the night before, so I am pretty doubtful.
Besides the fact that my mind is already racing with thoughts, and my heart is racing with emotions--
My esophagus is on FIRE. So I am up.

I feel like it is the first day of school. I always had trouble sleeping the night before, not that I had heartburn so young-- more anxiety and restlessness. When I was going into the six grade, I was super anxious so my mom thought she would give me half a sleeping pill-- due to the fact I was a little thing and I am very very sensitive to medication of ANY kind. Well, the outcome was a crazy dream that left me hallucinating and pretty much scaring my mother to death. Long story short... from then on, I just had to learn to deal with my anxiety and find a more "natural" solution.

Through this pregnancy, I have realized I am slow to respond to changes, situation, etc-- very slow as in does she even know she is suppose to have a reaction, ANY reaction would do? It takes a few weeks maybe even months for me to form a response... and in the time being, I think and ponder and analyze and then think some more. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. But for pregnancy, it takes almost the full 9 months for it to finally sink in. And with our little Jack... this week it sank in (38.5 weeks along).

I am filled with excitement and anticipation of this little boy coming into our family. Many have asked and continue to ask how I am dealing with the news about his "condition" and honestly, I haven't yet. The facts of the situation have been swallowed... yet the incubation time is still slowly brewing.

So for this morning, I am still trying to wrap my mind around the idea that we "picked" our son's birthday, and I am about to willingly walk get rolled into a room where a man will slice open my abdomen-- though very skilled-- none the less slice. And then it will come-- impressively quick only 3-5 mins from the first cut-- the crying of our new family member, our little boy. I am thrilled! I hope that he thinks the number 13 is lucky. It just hit me 2 days ago, even though we set the date 2 weeks before that he will be born on the 13th. He will just join his grandma Dot and aunt Geneve among the lucky 13.

James is in charge of baby updates since my hands will be tied--literally, did you know that? I didn't, even though this is my second go around. First time, I was sleeping.

And I love the end of Susan's post. Thank you, and I whole heartedly agree. Prayers are always welcomed.

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